JH-GIMH-ORIG
get it here:
AMAZON iTUNES Physical CD
release date:

June 16, 2009

share:

Ghost In My Head

10,000 MILES
floating, floating like the breeze in santa fe, got a ringing in my head and a ghost who pushed me out of bed, i heard a girl call her lover on the phone, she longed to flee to paris with her daughter far from home, “tell me do i mean anything to you at all, mark don’t laugh, you’re all i want, just don’t leave me alone”
i want to run 10,000 miles along the highway, run away, turn away, fly away, we’ll blaze like angels through the night, burn our souls in holy light, run away, turn away, fly away
the lipstick painted waitress counts the numbers in my head, she loves her baby’s daughter whose poem i just read, she shared her life with me; stories beautiful with misery, a grandma being mom cause her daughter had to leave, “it’s been three years since we’ve seen her, my life is no sad saga, sometimes i don’t even miss her”
i want to run 10,000 miles along the highway, run away, turn away, fly away, we’ll blaze like angels through the night, burn our souls in holy light, run away, turn away, fly away
you’d see i’m beautiful if i could only shed this bitter skin, i’m living in the shadows on the outside looking in, i’d hold your crippled sorrow, rock it gently as i could, let’s shake the walls down to the ground, and scream our pain like children -
the pretty brown-eyed girl likes to play with my guitar, she laughs and dances for me at her ballerina bar, she holds me close and says she doesn’t want to let me go, her tiny head against me, i sing to her real low, i can see all the beauty that’s inside you, don’t let them tell you all that you can’t do, your dancing is so beautiful, you’re so beautiful -
i want to run 10,000 miles along the highway, run away, turn away, fly away, we’ll blaze like angels through the night, burn our souls in holy light, run away, turn away, fly away

4 SMALL HANDS
four small hands, tugging at her skirt, she calls him from the payphone, twists the button on her shirt - it’s closing time already, the cold begins to hurt, she pats their hair, says he’s almost there as they bury in her skirt, the ringing beats on endlessly in her head and at his work
so many headlights, taillights go in the dirty gray late winter snow, inside her head she hears a voice start screaming, alone
where’s my happy ending, this isn’t what i bought, now i’m raising two, where the hell are you, drinking money shot by shot, i could have been so special, i should’ve gone to school, now i’m trapped at home, and wait by the phone, sitting helpless like a child for you, oh no, oh no, oh no, i told myself i’d never be my mother, i did the best i could, this ain’t my job no more find another, find another, whoa, no, no - her baby boy arrived two years later, and now she’s gone but six small feet still chase her, she used to read their crayon cards and draw pretty mermaids in the yard, i guess she didn’t think it’d be so hard when he seemed so safe, he tried to drink his rage away,……he didn’t show up anyway
so many headlights taillights go in the dirty gray late winter snow,
inside her head she hears a voice start screaming,
you gotta close your eyes to keep yourself from screaming,
you gotta close your eyes to keep yourself from screaming,

no - i didn’t want to go…i just don’t know…i guess she had to go

GHOST IN MY HEAD
the lights are still on, at 4:00am, on the tree in washington square, and the cold’s scared the dealersback into their holes till the sun brings them up for air, bare feet walk in boots too blind to find socks in a silent escape in the dark, with a song in my head, my belly filled with lead, i go walking round the park, looking for a different something to happen to me - oh where did you go my sweet child, no, don’t you play these games with me.
i‘m up then i fall, and sorry through it all for loving so blindly - you came for a time but you weren’t really mine so you leave me here just bleeding, and i walk through the snow, too sick to let go and not ready for the healing, not ready for you to leave
you’re nothing but a ghost in my head, some hope i had, something left unsaid, and i didn’t really know you at all so how come i feel so small, so small, i can’t feel you at all.
it was a diamond sharp day when they took you away from me. all the sad friendly smiles as we walked down the aisle to that place that you never see. and i thought of goodbyes and turned my eyes to the glare all around me - and there i was with your picture in hand underneath a butterfly’s wing, under a butterfly’s wing…
you’re nothing but a ghost in my head, some hope i had something left unsaid, and i didn’t really know you at all so how come i feel so small, so small, I can’t feel you at all.
it was a diamond sharp day when they took you away in that place that we cannot see,  all the sad friendly smiles and the “sorrys” for miles under pretty pink butterfly wings

OH MOTHER
oh mother    hold my hand along the road, sing your wordless song to the rhythm of our feet, the road it feels too long i feel i might lose something sweet, oh mother please don’t let it come out wrong, oh mother can’t you see that i’m not strong
oh mother
stand beside me when i’m pounding on her door, with her yellow roses please don’t leave them there just dying, her goodbye echoes around the hallway down to me, please don’t let me fall apart before i leave, oh mother can’t you see that we’re not free
oh mother      oh mother
there’s nowhere to run when what’s done is done, the blood just sits there on the floor and leaving can’t erase it, i wish i could cut my shame away, all those hurtful pieces gone astray, i can't feel no absolution
oh mother      oh mother
oh mother pull the small ones from the floor, dull the rocket sound, let them feel sunlight once more, soothe the shattered, the fractured, with secrets too big for the small, oh mother help us take the wounded in, please show us all we’re worth more than our skin
oh mother      oh mother
oh maria        oh maria

ERIN
where are you going? could i meet you? got a late shift tonight i’d feel better if i could go with you - to the rail… up the stairs…to the perfumed back room where the girls all comb their hair - to the bar with black light she downs shots to feel right about the business suits, the laughing men, the hungry eyes, she turns again to make sure that i’m still waiting there by the door
then she dances some more, all alone on the floor
erin doesn’t like to be alone so i play her bodyguard ‘til she gets home - her platinum hair in a broken band, her cigarette lit, we walk hand in hand and catch the night train and try to laugh all the truth away - she says how do you do it? i don’t think i’m smart - i got no one behind me, i can’t feel my heart but i try to use whatever god gave me, try to save up my money and someday maybe i won’t hear my father’s footsteps behind my door – i won’t hear them no more
so she dances some more, high heels scraping the floor
she never talked about you in those 3 am calls when she’d throw her new plates at her sea foam green walls trying to buy some new lies from that smug pusher-whore with his preppy blond hair who i kicked out the door, her pretty blue eyes ringed in black and red as she crumples again at the foot of her bed but I know…what you did
and she dances some more, all alone on the floor, her tired ballet for the poor, and i just wait by the door

SAVE ME
quietly, there’s no one to see i’m just stuck here watching myself, on the stained carpet floor by the broke plywood door just waiting for some saviour to save, please save me, please save me, and we roam the school halls, the parking lots, hide ourselves in makeup she left behind, sing our souls to the radio behind a closed door, don’t let no one catch what’s on the inside, can’t even see myself in the mirror, just some desperate stranger looking back at me - bent with teenage shame, playing a secret game of invisible and wanting to be seen; can you see me? do you really, do you really see me?
and oh your tired sad eyes cut through my skin, i turned to face the crime on my hands,
but you did not run away, you were seeking truth anyway, and you let me in
so we made the crawl to smoky basement halls, found your friend on christmas on the floor - heard your piece of the pain the things you couldn’t say except to strangers who wouldn’t ask anymore, but it was something, we sure were something, big and little seeking a remedy, and you gave all that your disease would allow but it meant the world to me, i know you see me, see me, i’d chase your car in bare feet down the cold morning street, sing with joni and james in those kitchen floor days, we had something, we all lost something, we all gave something, we could still find something, we could still find, we could still find something, we could still find something, there ain’t no debt to repay
and oh your tired sad eyes cut through my skin, i turned to face the crime on my hands, but you did not run away, you were seeking truth anyway and you let me in
i’d chase your car in bare feet down the cold morning street, our crime’s in our heads anyway

FALLING DOWN
my brother’s bike sits against the old garage door, guess he’s back from somewhere i think it’s too small for him to ride anymore / he sits to watch the tv, now it’s time to play good family, i can do it, i’m real good - making something out of nothing, pushing emptiness away / it ain’t so bad don’t forget, don’t cry, don’t complain, just don’t let the grownups know or they’ll come and take us away, go next door and ask for sugar, tiny actors in a play / spinning gold out of straw, making something sweet for dinner ‘cause their parents are away
i didn’t want to cry then but sometimes i cry now for three who held tight to each other to keep from falling down

we don’t ask him where he’s been when it’s a minefield you’ve been livin’ in, with worry howlin’ through the door, poking at you in your sleep / and she says “don’t you call me here no more it’s not my turn it’s his”, guess we’re living in a stalemate with a little boy who cries for fear of all the emptiness / how’d we used to put on christmas, what’s the record that we played? watch the happy tv movie no one’s pulling in the driveway, god, the winter days are dark, leave the light on, watch the snow falling lonely in the park
i didn’t want to cry then but sometimes i cry now for three who held tight to each other to keep from falling down

wish i would have held you, wish i gave you more, but i’m so sorry darlin’, i guess my arms were too small, too small

HOLDING ON
pillars of highway keep on pulsing, and something gray hangs in the air, lead your shadow to the strip mall, pay the girl to bleach your hair, you stare out through the driver’s side for some connection, and give a smile but she don’t care
oh give me back the part of me that’s gone, just sing me something full of grace right now, please hold me ‘cause i can’t keep holding on, holding on, holding on
picture-perfect parties, so many bosses sailing in, with their eyes that look right through you, talk and patience wearing thin, you’re beloved in this family, just until the bids stop coming in
give me back the part of me that’s gone, just sing me something full of grace right now, please hold me ‘cause i can’t keep holding on, holding on, holding on
there’s still truth being shouted from the playgrounds, but cross the street and find the color line’s still drawn, it’d be nice to think that we‘re all going somewhere, keep on moving ‘til you lay your dead dreams down
smiling lily serves up coffee with “hard rain” playing softly… the australian speaks italian as he goes, and the actors sit in circles telling stories as the sun crawls up the mountain, down the canyon, painted rose, there’s a song i left in new york i couldn’t hold, she’s swinging in the park ‘til i get home give me back the part of me that’s gone, just sing me something full of grace right now, please hold me ‘cause i can’t keep holding on, holding on, holding on, can’t keep holding on, holding on

SLOW DOWN
hold on, my pretty baby, just slow it down don’t lose today - listen to the story man who talks to god with brown cracked hands, finding holiness in ashes, hearing every prophets word - there’s illusion in the papers, in glossy colored pictures; wealthy people looking thinner than the poor. there’s attraction in the fiction of a lie told with conviction - lead me on, turn my head, stop the haunting in my bed, of a girl’s scream for her mother and the number of the dead
hold on my pretty baby, just slow it down don’t lose today
every face is lined with history in subway cars surrounding me, tired mothers carry children home and struggle up the stairs alone - read the posters, ignore the outstretched hands. gotta keep up with the jones’, park your car where they can see, leave the secrets where they lie, hide the ugliness inside, just as long as you keep on watching me –
hold on my pretty baby, just slow it down don’t lose today
don’t lose today, in the darkness sometimes angels find their way – when the silent child sings; speaking beauty that we’ll never say, hold on, don’t run away – hold on, you’ll be ok – everyone has walked a harder road today

THANK YOU
you gave when you had nothing but nothing, there’d been no car in the driveway; you cared enough to see, you loaned a cup of sugar and acted like you believed us
and i want to thank you, thank you, thank you
your daddy didn’t like the way you put on your make-up, but you always told me how beautiful i was, he said that singing’s for loose women and you, you said you liked my song
and i want to thank you, thank you, thank you
there’s too many people who’ve got no one to listen, try to follow the rules and maybe someday get paid – seems they’ve all had their joy chipped away by the people they trusted, and still manage to give their precious love away
they said that you can’t love who you love - you told me you loved me – your folks didn’t want you no more but you took me in; they all pretended not to see you and you, you touched my face
and i want to thank you, thank you, thank you, and i want to thank you, thank you, thank you

Ghost In My Head would be an impressive achievement if it came from someone who’d made a lot of records. As a debut, it’s startling—the bold singing, the edgy arrangements, the precisely phrased lyrics, the unflinching stories that gaze with equal insight upon beleaguered strangers and the people she loves best. These songs feel to me like the work of an artist who sees life whole: tragedy in a phone booth, beauty in the scars”.
- Dave Marsh, Sirius XM Radio

“For the record, the songs on Ghost In My Head are the work of an exceptionally strong and musically mature composer and singer. Vivid narratives – most are sharply drawn vignettes about fractured families and loners struggling with loss, obsessions, isolation, separation and upheaval – are enhanced by aching melodies and superb arrangements. Hennessy's voice is powerful, distinctive and assured. It deserves to be heard.”
- Greg Quill, Toronto Star

“The songs are dark, dramatic and personal, and well-matched to her full-bodied vocals, somewhat evocative of Tracy Chapman and Joan Armatrading.”
- Philadelphia Daily News